


Anger Management and Sweet Nothings

by Splitterregen



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Panic Attacks, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-03-20 04:18:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18985129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Splitterregen/pseuds/Splitterregen
Summary: She doesn’t slow down once they’re outside and Jace can feel familiar anticipation churning in his stomach.This he knows.Maia’s anger is what he has come to expect, it has always been part of their interactions and it’s comforting to know that nothing has changed between them, despite the unusual start of the night.





	1. Chapter 1

“Any plans for tonight, Shadowhunter?” Maia asked him in lieu of a greeting.  
  
“Not yet.” He tried and failed to conceal his surprise at her question.  
  
“Now you do. I’m done here in half an hour.” She winked at him before turning around and leaving him behind at the bar.  
  
Ever since their heated encounter in the ally behind the bar, Maia had taken to dragging him off whenever she was angry, or horny, or both. Over the past few months, it had become a semi-regular part of his life.  
  
Her question had thrown him off though.  
  
Maia never once had asked him to make time for her, she had just grabbed him and he went along with it. Sometimes they spent the whole night together and sometimes their ways parted almost immediately after. She always left him bruised and breathless, with his head spinning and the tiniest glimpse behind her harsh facade.  
  
A hand at the small of his back interrupted his idle wondering. Maia leaned in, her breath hot against his neck sent a shiver down his spine.  
  
“I’m done for tonight.”  
  
Maia takes his hand when the door falls shut behind them. Jace is about to ask her what has gotten into her and thinks better of it when she flashes a smile at him. Something is different about the she-wolf, but he can’t quite put a finger on it.  
  
After a few blocks, it becomes obvious that she isn’t leading him to her place.  
  
“Where are you taking me?”  
  
“Bar.”  
  
“You’re taking me to a bar?” He can’t keep the incredulity out of his voice. “You do remember that we were just at the Hunter’s Moon?”  
  
“Yeah, I do.” She laughs. “But I wanted neutral ground for tonight.”  
  
“Should I be worried about something?”  
  
“Only if you don’t trust me.”  
  
“That’s not a very reassuring thing to say,” Jace adds dryly, but he makes no move to disentangle their hands.  
  
“I just wanted to spend some time with you, away from Downworld gossip, okay?” Maia stops. “Is that weird?”  
  
“No, it’s not weird.” He’s lying, but when he can see the tension leaking out of her and the easy smile returning, he doesn’t think it matters.  
  
When she kisses him her touch lacks the usual force behind it. Instead, it’s gentle in a way she never before displayed without wrecking him first.  
  
Maia’s eyes somehow seem a lot warmer than they did just moments before and Jace holds his breath.  
  
She pulls him along again and a short while later they enter a bar he’s never been to. A mundane bar by the looks of it. The music is a bit too loud to allow for comfortable conversation, but that doesn’t stop them.  
  
They’re leaning against the bar and Maia tells him about an encounter with an arrogant Seelie she had thrown out of the Hunter’s Moon earlier while sipping on her beer. When she asks him about his day they fall into a surprisingly easy rhythm, free of the usual insults and tension.  
  
His beer is almost empty when sudden anger flashes in Maia’s eyes.  
  
Jace hasn’t fully comprehended what has happened yet when Maia whips around and sends the guy standing behind her sprawling to the ground. The mundane is cursing through bloody teeth and is setting himself up for another hit by Maia when Jace steps in to hold her back.  
  
Her eyes are flashing green and she almost breaks his grip.  
  
The mundane has managed to get up again and for a second it looks like he’s stupid enough to go after Maia. But when he sees the pure rage in Maia’s eyes and the effort Jace exerts just to hold her back he thinks better of it and disappears into the crowd of onlookers.  
  
“Let go of me!” Maia is snarling.  
  
”I will, as soon as you get yourself under control.”  
  
Her eyes are flashing green again. He can already tell that the strength rune soon won’t be enough to hold her back.  
  
“He’s a mundane. You know I can’t let you go after him.”  
  
“I don’t care!”  
  
The security guards are moving through the crowd towards them. They’re running out of time.  
  
“Let's get out of here. If you’re still angry when we get to your place, you can take it out on me.”  
  
She stops struggling, but he can still feel the anger coming off of her in hot waves.  
  
“Fine.”  
  
Security arrives just when he lets go of Maia. They’re still not sure what to make of the situation when Maia turns, grabs Jace’s collar and makes her way towards the exit.  
  
She doesn’t slow down once they’re outside and Jace can feel familiar anticipation churning in his stomach.  
  
This he knows.  
  
Maia’s anger is what he has come to expect, it has always been part of their interactions and it’s comforting to know that nothing has changed between them, despite the unusual start of the night.  
  
.  
  
Maia throws the door shut and him against the wall. She’s kissing him, biting his lips and he can taste blood in his mouth. By the time he gets his breath back his jacket is already on the ground.  
  
“Want me to fight back or not?”  
  
Maia stills for a moment, catching her breath.  
  
“Yeah, fight back.”  
  
Maia’s nails leave a bloody trail along his wrist when he twists out of her grip and pushes her off of him.  
  
She stumbles, catches herself on the wall and charges at him. Jace jumps the half wall on his left to avoid her, but she manages to grab him for a split second. It’s enough to destabilize him and he crashes against the kitchen isle.  
  
Jace shakes his head to get rid of the disorientation. His shoulder is hot where the edge of the wooden work surface caught him.  
  
Jumping back he’s able to avoid Maia’s next attack and moves into his own. Maia blocks him and lands a solid hit just below his ribs, driving the breath out of his lungs.  
  
Jace goes low, sweeping her legs out from under her, but he’s not fast enough to keep her down. When she twists he only just manages to avoid her knee coming for his temple.  
  
He’s rolling to the side to get enough room between them to get up again.  
  
Maia’s grin is bloody and feral. She’s already looking for another opening and growls low in her throat when Jace brings the kitchen isle between them.  
  
Maia starts and clears the obstacle in a leap that propels her straight at Jace. His lower back hits the work surface behind him, ripping a pained groan from his throat.  
  
She has a fist in his hair, pulling back his head to bite his neck. It’s almost enough force to break his skin.  
  
He stops resisting long enough for Maia’s grip to loosen. When it does he hooks his foot behind her leg and brings her down once again. He straddles her hips, but she throws them around before he can gain enough purchase to keep her down.  
  
When she pins him her hand slips under his shirt. Both of them are breathing hard when she leans towards him.  
  
“Stay down.”  
  
She doesn’t let go of his wrists yet. Her mouth moving hungrily against his. Jace’s lip is bleeding again, he doesn’t care.  
  
“Stay down,” she says again and lets go of him.  
  
He keeps his arms above his head, watching her watching him.  
  
Maia rips his shirt, still watching him closely.  
  
“If you keep ruining my clothes, I’ll have to start keeping some here.”  
  
She smirks and kisses him again before moving lower. She leaves scratches and bite marks all over his torso and when she’s finally satisfied he has a hard time holding still.  
  
“Bed.” She breathes before she gets up and offers him a hand.  
  
.  
  
He can feel Maia caressing his back when he wakes up.  
  
“Admiring your work?”  
  
“Something like that.” She places a kiss on the bruise above his shoulder blade.  
  
Jace winces when she turns him around and straddles his hips.  
  
“Be gentle with me, will you?” a grin is tugging on his lips.  
  
Maia is looking down at him, clearly thinking about something judging by the serious look in her eyes.  
  
“What?”  
  
“I want to ask you something.”  
  
She’s still observing him close enough to make him uncomfortable and he doesn’t know what to make of it.  
  
“Sure.”  
  
“Why’d you do it?”  
  
“Do what?”  
  
“Hold me back and offer yourself to take my anger out on you.”  
  
“I can’t let you rip apart mundanes.”  
  
He tries to get up, but Maia doesn’t let him. She’s shaking her head, lips drawn down in disapproval.  
  
“I know that you’re not into pain, so that’s not it and we both know that there are other ways for me to deal with my temper.”  
  
Jace remains silent and avoids looking at her.  
  
When she’s about to ask why he hasn’t healed his wounds yet he interrupts her thoughts.  
  
“Why do you wanna know?”  
  
“Because there has to be a reason and I’m curious.” She lies down, resting her head against his shoulder and her arm across his chest. “And I won’t let you go until I know why.”  
  
“Then we’re gonna be here for a while.” Jace closes his eyes and falls silent again.  
  
Maia brushes over a bite mark she had left on his rib cage and watches a shiver running through his body.  
  
“Oh!” She props herself up on her elbow.  
  
Jace is looking at her, a hint of confusion in his expression.  
  
“I think I just figured out why you haven’t healed those yet.” Her thumb brushes over the slight indentations again.  
  
She can feel the tension in his muscles building and pins him before he can try to get away again.  
  
“You don’t like the pain, but you do like being marked by me.”  
  
“Maybe.” His voice is rough and he tries to break her grip. “Let me go.”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Maia, please...”  
  
“No, we need to talk.”  
  
_‘This means nothing’_ is echoing through his head when he gives up and falls back against the pillows.  
  
“I don’t see what there is to talk about.”  
  
“Us. We need to talk about us.”  
  
He swallows dryly, there’s ice in his stomach.  
  
“You don’t need to worry. I know that this means nothing to you.”  
  
“Not anymore.”  
  
Maia’s voice is uncharacteristically soft, but Jace is still not looking at her. She forces herself to relax.  
  
“It means something to me. I just don’t know what, not yet.”  
  
“If that’s your idea of a joke...”  
  
“Jace… look at me.” She waits until he complies before she continues. “It means something to me, but if I’m alone in this-” her voice cracks and she clears her throat. “If it’s just me, this has to stop.”  
  
“I...” he interrupts himself, hesitating for a moment. “You’re right, it means something to me, but...”  
  
“We don’t have to figure out everything at once. I just needed to know if there was more or if I was imagining it.”  
  
“Okay.”


	2. Chapter 2

Jace is waiting for her behind the Hunter’s Moon when her shift ends.  
  
“You know that I don’t need an escort? We could’ve just met up at my place.”  
  
“I know.” Jace shrugs and starts walking.  
  
They still hadn’t given a name to what was starting to grow between them and Maia hadn’t brought it up again since Jace had vanished for two days the last time she tried talking to him.  
  
Something was holding him back, she just couldn’t tell what it was. The way he behaved towards her should’ve made talking about it nothing more than a formality, but the moment she started putting it into words he shut himself off.  
  
She pushed the thought aside.  
  
She would just bide her time until she got a chance to get him to listen to her.  
  
.  
  
Maia is still seething with anger when she arrives at her door. The pack meeting had been a disaster and had left her fantasizing about ripping each and every wolf present apart.  
  
She honestly couldn’t understand why they had practically forced her to take on the role of Alpha just to fight her every step of the way.  
  
Sure, they had expected her animosity towards the Shadowhunters to be permanent, but things had changed. Alec was trying so hard to do the right thing and she could see the future he was working towards.  
  
She forced herself to take a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm herself. Jace would already be waiting for her and she had promised herself not to ruin the evening they had planned.  
  
Jace’s careless smile fades when she enters, pushed aside by an unnamed tension as he walks towards her.  
  
“You’re angry...”  
  
He knows her too well.  
  
She can feel his heartbeat under her palm when she backs him against the wall. Her teeth against his throat when she hears him taking a shuddering breath.  
  
“Want me to fight back or not?”  
  
Maia pauses, relaxing her grip. “No.”  
  
She’s kissing him, holding back the boiling rage and rests her hand against the side of this face.  
  
“I don’t want to hurt you.”  
  
The confusion in his eyes constricts her throat.  
  
Maia pulls closer, hiding her face in the crook of his neck. Breathing in his scent.  
  
“I don’t want to hurt you,” she repeats and hopes Jace will understand what she’s trying to say.  
  
When he doesn’t react she moves back a few inches to look at him, trying to decipher his expression and gets nothing. Whatever he’s thinking is already hidden behind a mask of indifference.  
  
But the heartbeat thundering against her fingertips gives him away. Like a small animal caught in the jaws of a predator, racing with fright.  
  
“Jace.”  
  
He flinches at the softness in her voice as if she had hit him and Maia only barely manages to hold him back when he tries to get away.  
  
Her arms lock around his torso, trapping his limbs against his side. Her forehead comes to rest at the base of his neck.  
  
“Jace...”  
  
“Let me go,” he’s trying to break her grip. Desperate to get away. “Let me go, Maia… please.”  
  
Tears are stinging in her eyes when she hears his voice break, but she holds on to him.  
  
“Jace, I don’t want to hurt you because I lo-”  
  
“Don’t! Please, don’t say it!”  
  
He’s frantic and Maia freezes.  
  
“Please, please don’t say it. I can’t – you don’t understand! Please, don’t… I’ll do anything, but please, don’t say it!”  
  
The panic in his voice cuts deep.  
  
“Okay, I won’t say it, but at least tell me why...”  
  
“I can’t...” he’s shaking, breath cut short. “Anything, anything you want but I can’t- I can’t-”  
  
She kisses him to stop his panicked incoherence and releases him from the cage of her arms.  
  
“Okay.”  
  
“I’m sorry,” he can barely look at her. Can’t stand the warm concern shimmering in her eyes.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he says again and means _‘hurt me’_ , but there is no fire in her eyes when she takes his hand and pulls him closer.  
  
“I’m sorry,” soft against her neck and means _‘make me bleed’_ , but she’s only drawing soothing circles on his back.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he says and means it when she keeps him upright.  
  
“It’s alright, it's alright. I got you. It’s okay.” Maia repeats over and over again until Jace stops shaking.  
  
Her chest is tight with worry when she sees the faraway look in his eyes. It’s almost as if he can’t see her, can’t comprehend that she’s still with him.  
  
He follows unsteady when she directs him to the couch, pulling him down next to her.  
  
Maia keeps him close. Her hands threading through his hair until he finally stops apologizing. Her touch is featherlight. Afraid she might break him otherwise.  
  
A few moments of silence pass between them before Jace moves against her, placing a kiss just below her jaw. “I’m sorry. This isn’t what I had planned for tonight.”  
  
He hesitates for a second, then his hand slips under her shirt. “Let me make it up to you.” He pushes himself up, already moving down when Maia stops him.  
  
“Jace...” she trails off, not sure how to tell him that this isn’t his fault.  
  
“Let me make it up to you,” he sinks down, coming to kneel between her thighs. “Please?”  
  
Maia nods. Despite herself, she can already feel the coiling heat growing within herself.  
  
He moves closer, pushing up her skirt, removing her underwear when Maia lifts her hips to help him.  
  
She gasps.  
  
His tongue is moving against her in familiar heat. Quick to send flares of arousal through her body. It doesn’t take long until her fingers are tangled in his hair, pulling him closer while her hips are moving against him, chasing the sparks he ignites with each flick of his tongue.  
  
So close.  
  
Her calves hooked behind his shoulder she traps his head between her thighs for an impossible moment of ecstasy before collapsing against the rough fabric of the couch.  
  
His breath is hot and fast against her sensitive skin and it’s almost too much when he continues, bringing her to another high.  
  
Jace is placing a chain of kisses against her thighs while she tries to catch her breath. When he finally stops and looks up to her there is a hint of uncertainty in his gaze that only disappears when she directs a lazy smile at him.  
  
Maia pulls him up. She can taste a trace of herself in the shared kiss and for a moment she can forget what has lead up to this moment of satisfied intimacy.  
  
When she can move again she pulls off his shirt. Catching his lips once again she doesn’t break contact when she pushes him onto his back. Mouth moving against his, her hand moving to the seam of his jeans.  
  
Jace stops her.  
  
“I’m fine. You don’t need to-”  
  
“This is not about repaying a favor, Jace,” she can hear the irritation in her voice and tries to take away the sharp edge with another kiss.  
  
“I enjoy your body. I like watching you respond to my touch.” Another kiss against his throat. “I adore the way I can make you fall apart. Understand?”  
  
He looks at her in utter disbelieve and Maia reigns in the urge to show him just how angry his insecurities can make her.  
  
“So, if you really don’t want me to continue, fine. But I want this.”  
  
He hesitates for a moment then lets go of her hand.  
  
“Okay.”  
  
It doesn’t take her long to strip him. Jace’s breath is already heavy when she lies down next to him.  
  
She can’t help but smile at the lack of resistance with which he follows even her slightest direction. She moves his arms above his head. Holding Jace’s wrists down with one hand while the other one travels down and curls around his erection.  
  
Jace is gasping against her lips.  
  
Maia takes care to spread the precum over his length before speeding up. He’s arched up against her, breath heavy with arousal when she stops just short of granting him release.  
  
She hooks one leg over his thighs to keep him from moving before she continues.  
  
Maia rejoices in the way his muscles alternate between tension and relaxation at her ministrations. Revels in how hard he’s fighting not to break her grip even if that’s all his body wants.  
  
Drinking in the cursing and pleading, she stops again. Tracing the dark runes etched into his skin. When her featherlight touch tears a broken sound from his throat, satisfaction curls along her veins.  
  
“Please, Maia,” her name turning into a moan, his eyes falling shut.  
  
She’s leaving marks along the line of his neck, smiling at the pleas that continue to fall from his lips.  
  
This time she doesn’t stop and when the climax hits him her name is on his lips.  
  
Jace is panting, his body soft and pliant next to her. “You’re beautiful like this,” she says and his breath hitches.  
  
Maia reaches for a box of tissues and cleans up both of them. By the time she’s satisfied with the result Jace’s breath is almost back to normal.  
  
“Come on, let's go to bed.”  
  
Jace huffs half amused, half annoyed. “I don’t think I can move yet.”  
  
Maia chuckles when she gets up and decides to pick Jace up.  
  
“What are you doing?” he sounds scandalized and Maia can’t help but laugh.  
  
She carries him to bed and smiles at the traitorous red clinging to his neck and cheeks when she sets him down.  
  
“That wasn’t necessary.”  
  
“Oh, come on,” she takes her shirt off, still grinning. “You like that I can match your strength.”  
  
“Yeah,” his voice is still rough. “I do.”  
  
Maia slips under the covers next to him and Jace rests his head against her collarbone.  
  
“You’re stronger than I am,” he says. “I like that.”  
  
There’s something lurking right under the surface of his admission, but Maia lets it go and files the thought away for later. The evening was already eventful enough without digging deeper.


	3. Chapter 3

Maia doesn’t see him for two days after that. He’s not responding to her texts and what was anger turns into anxiety.  
  
She’s distracted and keeps dropping bottles and glasses. So much so that she’s sent home to deal with whatever it is that is worrying her this much.  
  
Maia thinks about showing up at the Institute when she still hasn’t heard from Jace by the third day but she doesn’t.  
  
What would she even say?  
  
She is too restless to concentrate on a movie or a book for more than a few minutes at a time and is ready to tear everything apart when there’s a knock at her door.  
  
It’s Jace. He looks like hell, but he’s here.  
  
“Can I come in?”  
  
Maia nods and lets him pass, eyeing his unsteady movement suspiciously.  
  
“Are you drunk?”  
  
“Yes, I am,” he’s leaning against the wall. His gaze is clouded when he looks at her. “I owe you an explanation and an apology.”  
  
“Where were you? I was worried.” Maia can feel the anger drain away.  
  
“I’m sorry, I needed time to think… I should’ve told you, but I...” he’s running a hand through his hair. “But I took the easy way out.”  
  
Maia wants to be furious but she can’t, not when he’s like this, not when he sounds so lost.  
  
“Come on, you need to drink some water.”  
  
“No, I-” he’s bracing himself for something. “I need to tell you...”  
  
Maia catches him before he can hit the ground and drags him to the couch.  
  
“I need to tell you...”  
  
“Shhhh, it’s alright. We can talk when you’re sober.”  
  
“Can’t talk sober,” he closes his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. “I love you.”  
  
Maia doesn’t know how to react.  
  
“I love you,” Jace says again. He sounds desperate, choking back a sob.  
  
“Jace,” Maia moves closer, trying to comfort him. “Why are you so upset about this?”  
  
“You don’t understand...” he’s actually crying now. “My father...”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Valentine, he-”  
  
Jace is sobbing, shaking in her arms and Maia doesn’t know what to do.  
  
“I love you and I can’t- I shouldn’t...”  
  
“Jace, it’s alright,” she takes his hand. “Breath with me.”  
  
In and out. A slow deliberate rhythm and Maia almost sheds tears of relief when Jace follows. Jace is clinging to her even when he stops shaking, but he still doesn’t look at her.  
  
“Valentine,” he starts again. “I couldn’t let you say it because of him.”  
  
Maia has no idea what he’s trying to tell her, so she remains silent, waiting for Jace to continue.  
  
“To love is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed.”  
  
“What? Jace that’s not-”  
  
“I know, but he taught me that, over and over and over again and I couldn’t-” he interrupts himself, fighting back a wave of dizziness. “I couldn’t take it. I’m sorry, I should’ve told you...”  
  
“Now I know. It’s alright.” Maia’s lips brush against his temple. “I know that this wasn’t easy for you. Thank you for telling me.”  
  
“I should leave.”  
  
“You can try, but I won’t let you out of my sight like this.”  
  
“I’m gonna be fine.”  
  
“Yes. You will be because you’ll be staying here.”  
  
.  
  
Jace is already awake when Maia opens her eyes which is surprising considering how intoxicated he had been.  
  
“How are you?  
  
Jace smiles wryly. “Better than last night.”  
  
He doesn’t meet her eyes but he’s still here, so that’s a success in her book.  
  
“I’m glad you showed up last night,” she places a kiss on the back of his hand. “Promise me to tell me next time you need to get away, don’t just disappear from the face of the earth.”  
  
“I will.”  
  
.  
  
Maia is on her second cup of coffee when her subconscious clicks the last puzzle piece into place and she almost drops her mug.  
  
“I just realized...”  
  
“What?”  
  
“I just realized why you always make sure to tell me that I am stronger than you are.”  
  
Jace winces but tries to deflect in the next second. “You already know that I like it when you hold me down.”  
  
Maia huffs, shaking her head. “Yeah, but that’s not the whole reason, is it?”  
  
He’s studiously looking at his own mug now and Maia knows that he’s hoping that she will leave it at that.  
  
But she can’t.  
  
“You still believe Valentine was right.”  
  
“I-”  
  
“You’re trying to make sure that you are the one that will be destroyed.”  
  
The muscles in his jaw twitch with tension, but he’s not trying to tell her that she got it wrong.  
  
“Look at me.”  
  
It takes some time but he does.  
  
“It won’t happen. I will not destroy you. That is not what love is.”  
  
He looks like he’s going to contradict her, but something is stopping him.  
  
“I know. I trust you,” he says and sounds surprised at the words coming out of his mouth.  
  
“Good.”


End file.
